So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize