Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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