Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
