I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
