It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
