his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
