I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
