Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
