He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
