On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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