yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
