Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize