Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
