i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
