I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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