never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you never un-have a 4some
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
