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I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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