Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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