whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
