do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
