the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
