I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
