i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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