So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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