I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
