don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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