In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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