How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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