last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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