There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
