i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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