I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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