i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
