Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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