Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize
