Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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