I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
