Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
