She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
no you cant smoke seaweed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
