You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
