Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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