Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
