Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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