it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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