I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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