he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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