If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
