drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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