Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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