we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
