Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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