I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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