its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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