I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can't turn off my feet"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
