Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
