K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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