Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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