i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
