I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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