She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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