NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
